Friday, November 5, 2010

Tiger's Fate


Recently in my Art History class, my ever-so-talented, fantastically brilliant teacher (David Lovell), tasked us with the daunting assignment of creating our own tympanums. With my creative engine rumbling, I scribbled out a piece of art portraying the final judgment of Tiger Woods and his many mistresses. Tiger Woods sits at the center of the tympanum, flanked by his mistresses to the right and his family to the left. To stick to the religious theme of Romanesque tympanums, the mistresses are being pulled to hell, his family is ready to enter heaven, and Tiger Woods is torn between the two. Inappropriate? Probably yes, but still funny (I think). People could probably care less about a piece of art my incredibly inartistic fingers put together though. So let’s talk about the piece of work I loosely stole inspiration from.

The west tympanum of Saint- Lazare (better known as the Last Judgment) was constructed by Gislebertus. Commissioned by Étienne de Badge, his desire was for Gislebertus was to create a tympanum that portrayed the dramatic last judgment of Christ. Christ sits at the center of this wonderful work of art, flanked to the right by the many non-Christians of the world with the morally decent people to the left. As one might expect, the non-Christians are being dragged to the place of weeping and gnashing of teeth and the Christians to left are about to be walking on streets of gold. In the lintel at the bottom of the tympanum, Gislebertus places people that begin to get less and less happy as you look from left to right. One person near the right edge of the lintel is being pulled to hell by the menacing arms of a demon while another near the top right edge of the tympanum is being dragged through the air by an evil “hell bird”(?). These are two aspects that I stole for my own tympanum. Another interesting intricacy in Gislebertus’ tympanum is the image of angels and demons using scales to weigh the souls of humans. This might be the most well known aspect of this tympanum.

Most people tend think that this tympanum was used to garner up fear in the stomachs of people as they saw it on their way to service. I’m hoping that this is the same effect my tympanum has on its viewers. I was going for the “don’t have affairs with hundreds of woman and think you won’t get caught” illusion. Probably not the most meaningful lesson for high school students, but hey, it works for me.

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